New Beginnings

It's funny life takes some interesting twists and turns. For so long I have been used to being on my own. Now I have found someone I could possibly let in again. I don't know, it is just really strange but I like it. Sometimes where one road ends another begins that is even better. I just hope that I am not making a mistake. I really like him and could possibly love him but I have had my trust broken a lot lately and I just can't really go through that again.

Home, Dates, Fun, Yelling and Christmas Eve

Home again for a bit. Things are the same here as always. I was home less than an hour and mom already started yelling at someone. Things just never change. It gets really difficult coming home from school sometimes. I hate it. Home should not be a place one dreads coming to. I miss the safety and security of my school. Things are so much more difficult at home. I know that is true for most college students but still. The first few days aren't so bad but then I start remembering why I hated it so much here. I sometimes just feel like curling up and crying. I just can't take it. Mom is so difficult and unpleasant. But at least I do have some fun this time.

I had a date with someone I met via the internet yesterday and it was amazing. We have been talking for a bit now and we have much in common. I really like him and he says he likes me. I have missed having a close guy friend who could be more and it is so nice. There is so much potential here but I am terrified of making a mistake and losing him at the same time. I don't want to mess this up like I did before. I am just going to let things develop and see what happens. He just really makes me happy and it's something I haven't felt in a long time. I mean I have been happy but haven't had someone like this who makes me happy since Paul and I have missed it so much. Sigh. I miss him.

Well we got the tree up and decorated. Dinner was had and I don't have to go to mass. SCORE!

Trying

So much has been happening and yet so little. My best friends from last year have turned out to be false friends. They left. Or may I left them? I don't really know which. Life keeps going and all I can do is keep going with it. I just really thought that we would be friends for a long time. Looking back I suppose that it is not such a bad thing that we are no longer friends. It just hurts to lose people one has trusted. But I tried to work things out and I cannot be friends with people who cannot respect me. Well it's time to move on from that. I have new friends who are amazing and whom I love. However I am scared of losing them too. I just can't lose any more friends.

Things have not been going great in my head. I put it and leave it at that.