Being Home

What happened? How did this become my life? What went wrong? When did it all fall apart? Maybe it was when I stopped living the lie. I couldn't go on being someone I wasn't, someone I'm not. But now I have to still live in this place with these people, my family. Why does it make me just want to hide under a rock, curl up, cry and die? Why can't I fake the happiness like I used to? I was better at it when I first got back, but now it's just too much I can't do it. I just want to run away. I want to be alone or with friends. I can't take her always nagging me, criticizing, yelling, being her. I'm going insane. She is my mother but it's just so hard. I'm slipping again.